His True Lily: Revised
by inkandlilacs
Summary: He touched the side of my cheek. I can feel his eyes on mine. At that moment, I saw sadness in them. Those black eyes that I learned to love, they are penetrating inside me. Inside my soul. He is human! And I can feel his pain. His lips moved, and whispered in a breathless tone.'Lily..' My heart stopped. Then it raced inside my chest.'I am not..I am not that Lily..'
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: This is a revision of His True Lily.I have edited the chapters in this story, I may also delete some chapters, or fuse two chapters together. Please review. I want to hear what you think of this. **

**So far, I want to say thank you to those who reviewed, especially to Annelies. It made me want to do better with this story, that's why I am making a revision. Also, it will really take me long to update new chapters because I am busy with school this week, until the end of the month. And yeah...school will end soon so I will try still to update.**

**For now, I am gonna update from chapter 1 to 12,making changes in each chapter.**

**Reviews are really appreciated.**

**- onryLilac**

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**Chapter 1: The Visitors**

I met his eyes. And they held what they have on that night when he pulled me in his arms. He sat beside me. And my eyes bored into the students in front of me. The Great Hall is full of life. And I so badly wanted to make him feel alive. But I feel like I am not capable of doing so. Because I do not belong to him, or maybe, to this world. Because I am not what he is, or what they are. He eat his food silently, and I am fine with it. I watched as a Hufflepuff student waved his wand to be able to make a crumpled paper float in the air until it dropped on the boy with eyeglasses. I sighed. I cannot even make a simple wandwaving. The reason? I am a squib.

A squib. My parents have the magical blood in their veins. And so are my brothers. I have already accepted my fate. Though I can't help but feel bitterness in me sometimes. So, if I'm a squib, you would be wondering why I am here in the wizarding world. In Hogwarts, to be precise.

An event in my life changed my fate,from what I believed it should be like. It all started one evening. In one of those ordinary evenings where I indulged myself in looking outside my window,before I fall asleep.

It was a loud noise that had woke me up that night. And the same reason why I hurried to the living room, where I found two mysterious looking people. A man and a woman who wore long robes that touched the floor. I know then, at that very moment, that these two mysteriously looking visitors share the same type of blood as my parents' and ancestors'. And the realization that they are present in front of me send a sudden rush of panic to my brain. My heart thudded in my chest, I turned pale, and my legs turned wobbly. My first thought is that, are they here to kill me? My family are dead. I have received a news months ago, that there has been a war on the 'other side'. And my family, are followers of the Dark Lord. And now the war has finally ended. And that Dark Lord was defeated. Are they going to kill me too? What should I do? There is no escape. These two people think that their kind is far superior than mine, and maybe they are truly right. I was caught off guard. I never thought that their kind would haunt me here, and would find the pleasure of killing me. Maybe its still because that I am related to my family, though I don't got the magic in my blood. Maybe they crave for revenge. The woman started to move, towards me. And that's when great fear started to rise inside me. My world started to spin, and then, slowly, I saw darkness. And I hit the ground.


	2. Chapter 2: Hogwarts

**A/N: I did not do much editing in this second chapter. And also, I am already writing the supposedly chapter 13 for the original His True Lily but I am not going to post that in there but here instead. So that means you need first to wait until I have already done editing what I have written on the original post.**

**Thank you again for annelies? It's making me happy that you find my story interesting. It's my first to try writing and I am not yet good. So thank you for your patience and appreciation!**

**And….for those who have came across of this story, I warn you not to check the original His True Lily, it might be a spoiler. That's all.**

**Please review. Constructive criticisms are very welcome.**

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**Chapter 2: Hogwarts**

My throat is burning. I tried to breathe. I can feel an invisible force pressing me downward, or pulling me until I cannot resurface. I gasped for air and struggled to open my eyes. I need to open my eyes. I do not feel any pain in me, maybe I am dead now, because I feel weightless. My hands felt something soft, like a cloth. And I get a handful of it while I struggle to open my eyes. And when I did, my vision was blurred. I adjusted my vision and the first thing that I found strange is the place itself. The walls are bare. The ceiling was high. There were a few white beds, and I can smell the scent of wintergreen. The temperature was cold. I looked around again. Am in a hospital? For the ambiance was like one of the hospital's. I pushed myself up in a sitting position, trying to get out of the bed, in on doing so, I knocked out a silver goblet and it made a loud clank on the floor. Then I heard hurried footsteps.

"She is awake"

I heared a woman's voice said. Her voice was strict, firm yet soft.

There were three people approaching me, and of those three, the two I recognized from the event of last night. A thought had occurred to me. They did not kill me! But I honestly did not know whether that is something to rejoice about. The witch, not the one I saw from last night was wearing blue and white robes. There was something soft in her nature, something that makes you calm and be at ease. She hurried to my side and pushed me back to bed. She pulled a stick, a wand I guess, she performed a very little movement, one that you would not notice if you would really not pay much attention. I have not seen magic in a very long time. The first time I witnessed it was when my older brother set fire on my favorite book. A tray with bottles containing different color of liquids came floating beside her, she took one of the bottles, the one containing a dark violet color, she opened it and pressed it on my lips. I was too afraid to reject, or to do any appeal, I summoned my courage and gulp the contents, but I ejected the liquid, I coughed and spilled all of it on my clothes. The witch then flicked her wand again and the mess I made instantly vanished.

" I knew it, she's not used to how it would taste." She shakes her head." Maybe you can do something about it Severus?"

The man,the wizard, he unfolded his arms and looked straight at me."Well..I can do some alteration to the taste, make it more mugglelike..." His voice was deep. Cold. I do not entirely know how to explain it. But it's like when someone was speaking inside a tunnel, or in an enclosed room. Deep, big, and the one that can give you a shiver.

I stopped coughing and looked at him too. He was slim, tall and very pale. His eyes were coal black. It is the first time I really paid attention to him. It is the first time I really paid attention to a man. His nose was prominent, his cheeks-

"However, I believe that the young girl should learn to drink my potions without any form or reason of objection the next time she needed again to drink them"

I stopped appraising. And absorbed what he just said. He was looking at me, his face expressionless. And his eyes penetrating. It made me uneasy. But I cannot look away. He reminded me of the man in the park I saw when I was just a kid. It was a school field trip. I accidentally spilled my orange juice to his shoes. The man glares at me and I was rooted on the spot. I cant even move a muscle, I cant even breathe properly,afraid that my little movement would cause him more anger.

It was the witch wearing green robes that had spoken this time,she was the witch with that wizard last night."Severus" She addressed the wizard."Would you be kindly prepare the potions for her now?"

"As you wish Minerva" he said in a very low voice.

Minerva addressed me then," It is urgent that we talk after you recover. I know that you are in deep confusion. However, everything will come to light after it's well explained..."

I didnt hear the rest. I was looking at him, he was walking away,with elegant strides. His long black robes has a hypnotizing effect. He exited through the door, closed it behind him and was gone. At that moment, I was certain I do not like him,and also concluded that I will do every possible way not to be in his sight, and not to be within his sight.

Both of the witches stopped talking. Worried glances were exchanged. I sighed

000

Days have passed. I was too afraid to get out of this bed, afraid to know what was there to come for me. I watched as a crow flew from the willow tree. But I know very well at the same time that I must face it with a brave heart. For three days,( I look outside the window a lot and see dawn and sunrise)I was malingering, always complaining of dizziness so as not to be remove here in my temporary condition. For three days,I have known that the witch who always tend to me is called Madam Pomfrey,that Im currently in the Hospital wing,that she is a healer,similar to a doctor in the muggle world. I have known too that I am in a place called Hogwarts,a school for young witches and wizards ,and that Professor McGonagall, the witch from that very night,is the current Headmistress. Madam Pomfrey is very strict with her job, but she always talk a lot of things everytime she gave me medicine, or potion.

Looking throughout the window, I have decided to face my fear,for prolonging it would make it more difficult for me to handle. When Madam Pomfrey checked my condition that day,I told her that I already feel well. she gave me a single potion and I drank it without any form of hesitation.

"Professor McGonagall wants to see you then. She asked me to tell you that you must see her once you feel better"She was waving her wand up and down my body "You should find her in the Headmistress' Office. Two floors up,end of the corridor,you will see two gargoyles...password is lemon drops"

I furrowed my brows"lemon drops?"

She flicked her wand one last time,patted me hard on the shoulder,"yes dear,lemon drops"

Madam Pomfrey left me in a state of confusion.

000

My weak knees led me outside the Hospital Wing. And upon my little journey to the Headmistress' Office, I have realized that I am in a very different world. The paintings move and talk. There was a gentleman on one of the paintings that I have passed and he was snoring loudly. And there was also a woman who was singing to her child. The staircase moves too! I admit it's tricky and apprehensive. Strange. But yes, I almost forgot I am a..squib.

I ascended two floors,and on the far end of the corridor,I saw no doubt,the gargoyles that Madam Pomfrey was talking about.I stepped in front of the gargoyles,unsure of what to do.I have the password(very muggle, I think)yes, but how can it be of any use to me when I do not know in fact how can it be of any use? I think hard. Maybe my little brain can be of any help. I am in the wizarding world. There is magic of course. Should I just speak of the password? Like its a form of a magic word just like in Alibaba where the doors of the cave opened automatically? I looked around. I am completely alone. I took a deep breath. I spoke the password in a low voice. The gargoyles moved. A staircase appeared.


	3. Chapter 3: Professor McGonagall

**A/N: I am fusing two chapters together and adding some details, and removing some that displeases me.**

**Please review.**

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**Chapter 3: Professor McGonagall**

The staircase spun upward. And then I saw before me a quite large room, several portraits lined the walls, and there were stacks of books too. I saw Professor McGonagall sitting on her desk. She asked me to come forward and offered me a seat. I feel anticipation combined with trepidation.

She cleared her throat before speaking.

"First of all" She began, "It was nice to see that you have now finally gotten over floo sickness" Floo sickness? I wondered."I believe I must be direct to the point now and explain to you the real reason why you are here in the wizarding world" She looked at me, making sure if I can follow. I nodded."Your family died in the wizarding world,they were killed by Voldemort himself, as what written in the letter that you have received just months ago. After the war,the ministry passed many laws, one of that is the legalization of all squibs. Many years ago, squibs were not required to do registration in the Ministry, but now that the wizarding population is getting thinner and thinner, something has to be done to avoid the extinction of our kind." She paused, fixing her spectacles."The second reason why you are here is because I believe that you can be of use here in the wizarding community. Muggle Studies used to be an optional course here in Hogwarts, only students who seem interested take the subject. But now, it has been made mandatory that that each student should enroll in that course, and I am hoping that you would take the post"

I furrowed my brows "What do you mean? And what Muggle Studies?"

"Muggle is the term for a person who do not belong to the wizarding community"

"Yes I know that"

"Muggle Studies .It is about what muggles do, how they live, act, and everything about them…"

I nodded.

"I am asking you to take the post as Muggle Studies professor"

I just stared.I still can't comprehend why I am here.

A few seconds passed. "Professor? My family are death eaters?"I said instead of giving an answer regarding to her question.

"Yes" She nodded.

"But I don't understand…." I trailed off, bewildered.

"Hmm…I would be glad to explain things to you if only I can. But it was Severus who knows everything,regarding your family" She replied vaguely.

"Is that..is Severus Professor Snape?" My heart thudded.

"Yes he is "She patted my shoulder" I believe I must give you enough time to think about it, about being the Muggle Studies Professor" She said dismissing me." Your chambers is down in the dungeons"

"Thank you. But how can I find the way to the dungeons Professor?

She gave me a quick small smile."You can ask the paintings"

0000

"A History of Magic" was printed on the book cover. I put it on the table,pulled out a chair and started reading. I am in a school. And of course, there must be a library, So I asked the paintings where I can find it. I flipped the pages of the fragile ancient book.

"Enjoying your stay here in the wizarding world I suppose?"

I looked up. It was, as I expected, Professor Snape.

"Well…Should I not?" I stared at his black eyes. The hypnotizing effect was there again, I just can't look away. Maybe he was the kind of wizard who uses dark magic. I shuddered at the thought.

His hands turned the cover of the book. He smirked. " You are overly excited Evangeline. Doing your research so soon? " I felt humiliated. Luckily, he turned away and made his leave. But he stopped when he was just four feet away from me. His back on me.

" Goodluck Evageline" He said my name. a shiver went through my spine.


	4. Chapter 4: Ministry of Magic

**Chapter 2: Ministry of Magic**

September is coming nearer as ever. And I can feel the slight symptoms of nervousness for school will begin soon. I have accepted Professor McGonagall's offer. And I guess, that it is the main reason for the nervousness that I feel. For a full month, I have tried my best everything I could know in the Wizarding world. And I have tried my very best not to be in any kind of contact with The Potions Master.

I made my way to the hospital wing, and once I reached it, I kindly demanded a cure for my sickness. I feel ill, and was experiencing vomiting since morning. Madam Pomfrey concluded that I ate something that not suited me well. She opened a cabinet where different potions are stored, and then she turned to me, and uttered the words that I surely do not want to hear.

" I am sorry dear, but I don't have the potion here that you might need. Go and see Professor Snape down in the dungeons and ask him about it"

I am sure I looked paler. And Madam Pomfrey noticed it too, so she insisted that I should see Professor Snape quickly.

I made my way down into the dungeons. This is news to me. I didn't know that Professor Snape is in the dungeons with me. I forgot to say, that ghosts in the wizarding world are not like the ghosts in muggle world. I have my favorite ghost here, St. Nicholas, whom I always ask where places are. He's more reliable in giving directions than paintings. I take a left turn, and then another left, and saw a door. I brerathed deeply,and opened it with trembling hand. I saw Professor Snape in his desk, writing. He looked up at me, amusement on his face.

I gulped."I need a potion" I half stammered."Madam Pomfrey said that…"…Madam Pomfey said that she don't have the poton I needed,and that I must ask you for it instead. Sir.."

I don't understand the expression on his face."Would you mind telling me, what illness have you gotten this time? You don't expect me to give you another for floo sickness…"

I looked down,and explained to him what Madam Pomfrey said. I heared him moved,when I looked up,I saw that he opened a door, I cannot see what's inside for it was a bit dark. He went inside. I heard him opening a cabinet, then came the clattering of bottles. He shut the cabinet, emerged at the door, closed it behind him and put a blue potion on his table. He sat down and started writing again.

"The potion can't walk towards you. Unless you have a wand to have it."He was writing so fast. I can hear the sound the quill made as it touch the parchment."Come here and get it." He growled. Which made me jump. I move towards him, and stand in front of his desk. He was writing with an elegant motion of his hand. I can smell the ink. His scent. Wintergreen and something manly. I blushed.I can see him carefully, head bent down, I have a good view of his long black hair. It was shiny, and I wanted to touch it. What was I thinking? He looked up. I caught my heart on my throat.

"I thought you feel ill Why not grab the potion and leave?"

I bit my lower lip,took the potion with trembling hand, and turned my back at him.

"I think I should remind you now that you must come to the ministry with me two days from now" He said in a flat tone. I reached the door at that time, and my other hand was wrapped on the handle."Go to the ministry with you? Sir?" I suddenly feel very apprehensive.

"For some legal matters." He replied while writing

"Is it really urgent sir?"I asked softly

"Yes it is. Now leave me for your presence annoy me." He said exasperated.

I opened the door, stepped out from his warm classroom and made my way towards my room. I sat on my bed, opened the potion and drank it. It tastes bubble gum. I placed the bottle on my bedside table.I pull under my pillow a leather journal. I wrote 29th of August. Ministry. Professor Snape.

I stared at my handwriting. And compare it with Professor Snape's. His was elegant, the letters were like ribbons. I do not know what came over me. Maybe it was the effect of the potion. I flipped the journal, on the last page of it, I wrote my name. With a handwriting similar to his.

000

We were walking in the school grounds. As we neared the gate, Professor Snape took his wand and pointed it on the iron gate, it opened. We stepped out, and the gates closed again.

He pulled out a silver goblet."Since you cannot apparate, then we would be using a portkey. At a count of three, you must get hold of the portkey. Do not withdrawn, whatever happens."He looked at me" Do I make myself clear?" I nodded. And then he counted. I got hold of the goblet. Our fingers touched."It's better if you close your eyes…"I heard him say. I can feel a strong wind around us, It's pulling me away. I shut my eyes and gripped tighter. I am spinning. And then slowly, I felt that I hit something hard. I opened my eyes. And Professor Snape was supporting me on my back. I guess I nearly hit the ground. And Professor Snape was just in time to prevent that from happening. I thanked him. Though I disliked his cold character, he is still being civil to me. And besides, I would be over reacting If I will say that there is any harm done.

Professor Snape broke the physical contact and started walking towards the swarm of people. I followed. The ministry is no doubt full of busy people. Its noisy, and there were papers flying around. We walked,and then turned left,where only a few people can be seen. He stopped walking in front of an oak door and looked at me" Come" He said simply.

And then he opened the door. It was a huge room. And looks very legal. The desk was made of oak, there were tall stacks of paper on it. A wizard can been seen sitting on the chair.

"A pleasant morning to both of you" The wizard said,and Professor Snape nodded. I gave a nervous smile.

"We must get to the business at once, Prime minister" Professor Snape said. The Prime Minister nodded in understandment. He pulled out a paper from his desk.

"You just both needs to sign it" He gave the paper to Professor Snape.I saw him signed it. He gave the paper to me. And I signed it too. Soon, we were at the doors. The minister said goodbye to us.

When we arrived once again at the school grounds, I asked him "Professor, What's that all about? "He was walking fast and Im having a hard time to keep pace at him.

He spoke " It's about the properties that your parents left you" He stopped walking. He look tired and lacked sleep.

"I didn't know that they left me something "I said flatly."But Professor, why is it that you needed to accompany me?"

"Because your parents told it to only me"

"Why, Professor?"

"Because I and your parents were both Death Eaters and they trust me."

Another news to me. And the mention of death eater made me apprehensive. I knew it. "You signed in the papers." I said, not making a comment about him being a death eater.

"As a witness that you have successfully claimed what's they left to you"

He started to walk.I hurried towards him.

"Professor. Tell me about them" I said bluntly.

"Who?"

"My parents. You said they trust you. So that means you must know a lot about them"

He stared down at me."I do not know much about them aside from the fact that they have a stubborn daughter like you" He said exasperated.

I gripped his arm. And again, he stopped walking. His jaw clenched.

"Remove your hands Evengeline…" He said roughly.

The world stopped spinning.

The way he said my name sounds very familiar.

_Remove your hands Evengeline…_

_It was night. I remember it was night. And it was cold But there was smoke in the air. But maybe it's fog? I gripped something hard._

"_Remove your hands Evangeline." The voice said as it shoved my hand away._

_There were shoutings and broken glasses. I can-_

"You stupid girl!"

I was pulled back to reality. Professor Snape hastily removed my hands from his arm. I felt weak. I watched him walk towards the castle. I remained standing under the heat of the sun. Immobilized.

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**A/N: I must give you a clue. Every chapter has a clue. That's all. Lol.**

**PS : I am happy when people do reviews.**


	5. Chapter 5: The Dream

**Chapter 5: The Dream**

Time flies past. And I am still struggling to adapt in the wizarding world. I have made few mistakes that I tried to avoid but I still failed on doing so. I have punished a Slytherin student on my third week of teaching. And the punishment was in a muggle way of course. But still, I'm quite glad of my busy schedule, for it distract me from things that I do not fancy to think about.

It was late. I was doing research in the library, and on my way to the dungeons, I have decided to check on Professor Snape. He was like a magnet of some sort, drawing me to him without my intent. It's like facing down from the cliff, and there's this kind of force that pushes you to jump. I planned to knock, but decided against it. And I decided to went to my own room and rest. And then, I dreamed.

In my dream, it was night. Im lying on my bed, and the moon was visible on my window. I heard shoutings, and of broken glasses. In my dream, I have slipped on my slippers and stepped out of my room. Maybe they were here. It's impossible that Marta and John would make those noises, maybe they're here. I was surprised to see smoke covering the whole hallway. But not impossible to block my view. I saw the farthest room with it's door slightly opened, and I walked towards it. Inside the room was nothing. Except for a full body mirror. I stepped inside, and that's when I saw her. The mirror reflecting her. A little girl of seven. I looked curiously at her, and she looked back at me, wearing the same expression. She wore a pink floral left sleeve was torn. I furrowed my brows. And I am thinking, if this girl share the same type of blood like the rest of my family. Should I ask her? There's nothing to be afraid, she's just a kid. Looking at her ragged appearance, I suddenly have the urge to look at my clothing. And I'm surprised to see that my sleeve was torn too. I looked to the girl again, and she looked at me. I clutched my dress. My floral pink dress. And she clutched hers too. And then On the mirror, I saw a flash of red light, and it hit me on the back. I fell on the ground and the smoke filled the air.

No sunlight can penetrate in the dungeons. And I do not know what time it is the moment I woke up. So I quickly dressed and headed to the Great Hall, and found out that I missed breakfast, that I missed my three classes that morning, and that it's now lunch time. I took my seat beside Professor Snape. And ravaged the food in front of me. I was exhausted from last night, I was exhausted from my dream.

" You look like a mess" He said in his usual low voice. "Do you not practice punctuality, Evangeline?"

I stopped chewing. He's the only one who calls me Evangeline. The rest of the professors address me by my last name. I refused to speak.

" Missed three classes. Hmm…you just made a history. I might congratulate you." He smirked. I remained silent.

I was about to get my goblet of pumpkin juice when I noticed for the first time Professor Snape's wand. I stared at it. And I tried to touch it. My fingertips brushed the wood. And Professor Snape snatched it from me. I was taken aback by the sudden harshness. And my arm accidentally knocked the pumpkin juice, which spilled on the table, Professor Snape muttered disapproval under his breath as he flicked his wand to clean the mess. He looked at me with his cold dark eyes. And I remain powerless. And cannot do a thing but stare. The tunnel had engulfed me.

0000

The strange dream had visited me again that night. And on that event, it started to bother me. In my dream, I was hit by a striking force on my back, a flashing red of light. I heard the little girl scream, her wails of agony deafening mine. But when I swift a glance at my floral pink clothes through blinding tears, I have realized creepily that the girl was me. Smoke filled the air thickly, and the pain that started from my back run throughout my body, numbing me in pain. Someone then grabbed me and harshly lifted me from the cold floor. I desperately felt for something to hold, to grab, and my hand touched a thin long wood.

_" Get your hands off Evangeline"_ The person who's holding me said. His voice was deep, and sounded a man. And my heart leapt because he did not call me in the name those people used to address me .I didn't withdraw my hand. I am a child, I guess, in that dream. And I needed something to hold on to.

_" Remove your hands Evangeline"_ The voice sounded more forceful this time, and the stick was suddenly yanked from my weak grip. Another flash of light erupted, blinding me. And for a split second, the bright light became darkness.

I woke up with my eyes staring at the bare walls of my room in the dungeons. The dream is reoccurring, paying me a visit every now and then. I glanced at the clock on the bedside table(which I bought at Hogsmeade) and the time said that it's already four in the morning. And sleep do not want to overcome me anymore. I lay still on my bed, grabbed my leather journal under my pillow and read my previous accounts.

November 9

The trees on the park near my school are absolutely lonely. They are beautiful yet not fully appreciated. The flowers are beautiful too but not as beautiful as the trees. The trees are big, majestic, and tough. Flowers are pretty yet fragile. I don't want to be a flower. I don't want to be a LILY.

The last word was spelled in capital letters, emphasizing it above from the rest. My name, Lily Evangeline McSwayne. I remember my father told me that Lily was given to me by my godfather. And Im too young at that time to care, and when I grow older, I do not see any reason to give importance to it. And that's the time I decided to drop the name Lily. But the man on the dream called me Evangeline. Just like what Professor Snape used to call me . And for an unknown reason, I smiled with the thought of him.

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**A/N: It's my birthday. But unfortunately, my highschool bestfriends forgot about it. I despised my birthday so much because I do not want to live. Anyway, since it's my unlucky birthday, I will already post all of the remaining chapters from my original post.**

**I am not receiving reviews. I am sad**.


	6. Chapter 6: Potions

**A/N : Pay attention to Snape's actions. He is kinda moody. Hmmmmmmm..**

**Please review. Seriously**.

**Chapter 6: Potions**

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The sound of a door being opened echoed throughout the cold and empty dungeons. I stepped into the dark lit classroom. Professor Snape pointed his wand to the door and it closed silently behind me. On the middle of the room was a long table. And on top of the table are potion bottles, horns, colorful feathers, bones, leaves and as I inched closer, I saw a small clear bottle containing a disgusting green thing. There was a cauldron of course.

He spoke." The headmistress had just informed me that you asked her permission to allow you to have potion lessons with me because of the reason that you are wanting to clearly know how Potion making works."

He flicked his wand and a small flame appeared, heating the cauldron.

" The Headmistress also told me that you requested to have special lessons not only in Potions but in other subjects too…" He sneered. " You kind of remind me of that Granger girl. That you-know-it-all…but of course, you're just a squib."

There was pure venom in his voice. He picked some leaves and crushed it with the mortar. I recognized the scent at once. Wintergreen. I stared at his hands as they carefully crushed the eleaves. I wonder too who Granger is.

" Professor Snape." I spoke as I watch still. " You and my parents-"

" Are friends.." He cut me off, finishing the sentence for me. The smoke started to rise from the cauldron. He opend a bottle and let half of it's red liquid to fill the warm cauldron. The smoke stopped. He then added the ground leaves to the cauldron, and the color turned green from red.

" As you already know Evangeline…" He paused at my name. I savor the moment. " Your parents are former Death Eaters like me. Devoted followers of The Dark Lord"

I felt a chill. The cauldron started to softly boil. He stirred it three times counter clockwise and opened the bottle which contained the green disgusting things. They look like jellies. But they look undesirable because it seems like they're alive.

"On your parents' younger years-"

" How well do you know my parents sir?" It was me who cut him off this time. He lowered the fire of the cauldron. " why suddenly straightforward Evengeline?" He touched the feathers and pulled the gray one. " I know your real motive why you decided to have Potion lessons with me. It's not because you wanted to learn." He looked at me. " You wanted information. And I am telling you, it is not the right time yet."

I don't know what to say. Am I that easy to read? I remained silent. The potion started to boil in ecstasy, reaching it's climax. Bubbles are forming, the potion was greenish violet, and the scent it emits is fragrance.

" I advice you to leave at once now. You are not going to acquire informations that you are not supposed to have yet."

" I believe I have the right to know sir" I murmured in a flat tone.

"When the time is right my child…" He said coldly. And pain shot right through in my heart. And I stand there looking at him, my brows furrowed, my mouth slightly opened.

He might have seen I was hurt and he might be not as hard as I thought for he sighed deeply and said to me. "You are a bit clever in my opinion. Not as clever as your parents but clever indeed. You remind me of three persons I know. One is the Granger girl for your curiosity and desire for knowledge that you should not have."

His voice was low. Not as cold as before, the hostility has gone. He stirs the brewing potion and it shifted color again. " the other is Potter because like him..you come to me to ask things about your parents"

He waved his wand and the fire went out. The potion stopped boiling. He opened an empty bottle and pour the freshly brewed potion. He sealed it again. It was a beautiful violet color.

" You have a beautiful name." He said. And his revelation shocked me and I felt my cheeks flushed. Now I know why he always call me by my name.

" Thank you sir" I said awkwardly. I really like my name Evangeline.

" But you are stupid to drop your first name."He said bitterly." You must go now, I have lots of things to accomplish and I cannot do them whike you are here." He said dismissing me.

I am silent. Why the sudden change of mood? He is like fire. A crackling fire.

" You will hear things and pretty stories about your parents when I have the time child-" That's when I sighed loudly. I turned my back to him, walk towards the door and left his dark filthy classroom. I feel guilty I described it filthy. But there is pain in my heart. No, there is anger. Or maybe both, yes. And not of the reason that he would not give me information but because he called me a child. A child. I feel frozen inside. He see me only as a child.

0000

I looked at the things that covered the wooden table. Some leaves, dried roots, unicorn horns and other disgusting things. A very old cauldron is visible too. I want to know if I can brew a potion. The one I am going to make is a potion that do not need a wand waving. And the potion that I am going to make is a safe sleeping potion, according to the book that I borrowed from the library. I am going to try it myself. I began my potion making by making a small fire under the cauldron. And I started putting some leaves on the mortar, I crush it vigorously with the pestle, grinding it so the liquid would flow out. I try to remember how Professor Snape did it. And I blushed thinking about him. I always reprimand myself everytime I think of him in a…how do I put it? I crushed the leaves faster, feeling annoyed by myself. I put it on the warm cauldron and put some reddish powder on it. How do I think of Professor Snape? mY teeth are clenched. Unable to accept the fact, unable to admit that I think of him romantically. There, I said it at last. I sighed loudly and put two unicorn horns on the cauldron. It started to emit dark green smoke, and there were loud popping sounds coming from it, until grayish black smoke started to come from the cauldron. I panicked. The popping sound was getting louder, thick smoke started to fill the air, but despite the thick smoke, I saw the door opened for I saw a light flashed inside the room once it was opened.

" Evangeline!" Professor Snape shouted at me. He run towards me as the loud popping sound continues, I blacked out.

00000

I blacked out. Again. For the third time since that incident on that night happened. On the time where I first came to know about Professor McGonagall and Professor Snape. I slowly opened my eyes, expecting to see the high ceilings of the Hospital Wing, but I was surprised to laid my eyes on Professor Snape's face inches from mine. For a second, I thought he is going to kiss me, but his lips moved.

" How are you feeling?" His voice was low, but I heard every syllable that he said.

" I am fine" I mumbled weakly.

" That was so foolish of you young girl" He said harshly. I was hurt a bit. Well I think you already know why. Not because he sounded harsh, but because he is calling me a girl. A child. He got a bottle of potion and let ma drink it, his hand touched my cheek as he pressed the bottle on my lips. Once I was done, he gave me a very cold glare.I looked down.

" Why didn't you bring me to Madam Pomprey? Why did you brought me here instead?" I asked looking at his always dimly lit classroom. He raised an eyebrow at me.

" Tell me what's so crucial about that question Evageline? I thought you do not ask nonsense things." He said amused. No,He said mockingly. I blinked. I am annoyed. I am no longer afraid of him. Why would I? Because I love him now? My eyes widened at the thought. Do I love him? This man? I can feel my heart thumping hard on my chest, my knees turned wobbly and there's a ringing in my ears.

" You look pale" He blurted out. I managed to gulped and breathe slowly. He was sitting on the chair opposite to mine. His thumb caressed his index finger, which I found hypnotic.

" Evangeline" I looked at his face. " You are not supposed to try things that you do not have enough knowledge of. Potion making is not a joke. Even if you are a squib, you must still not try to perform things that require knowledge and skill. Even if you think that it will not cause any harm because you cannot produce any magic. The ingredients in potions have enough magic in them that can cause enough harm, you must keep that in mind. There are lots of things you still need to understand. And I will help you to understand them one at a time. Do you understand me?"

I nodded at him.

"I want you… I want you to know that your parents left you to me." He said slowly. Adrenaline rushed into my veins.

" My parents? How?"

He stood from his seat and waved his wand on the stacks of paper sitting on his desk." It's just that Evangeline."

" I don't understand." I whimpered. He looked at me." Professor, I am confused. I do not understand…"

" I have an obligation to take care of you. I promised your parents. And I hope you will cooperate with me."

I looked at him with a tired and desperate expression on my face.

" Go to bed. Rest. We will talk some other time." He urged.

" You always say that." I said in a low voice. His expression changed and showed pain. I walked to the door and left.


	7. Chapter 7: Pictures and Memories

**A/N: Where are the reviews? And anyway, I have deleted the story His True Lily.**

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**Chapter 7: Pictures and Memories**

I ignored him for a month. But my heart leap everytime I caught a sight of him. I sat next to him in the Great Hall everyday, though there are times when he is not around. I think of him more, and my feelings grew. Today, he sat beside me. It was a cold morning. And sounds of coughing can be heard from the students. I looked still on my plate while I eat. But of course, I heard him as he pulled his chair and sat beside me. My heart was pounding frantically inside my chest. I sighed, letting out air to calm myself. I can smell his scent. And I inhaled deeply.

" I have to show you something"

My spoon was halfway to my mouth. Did he just speak? I glanced at him and he was silently chewing his food. Maybe I am mistaken. But then, his lips moved.

" After your classes, I expect you to come and see me." He drank from his goblet and I withdraw my eyes from him and started eating my food again. I tried to hide my smile. He talked to me. And he wanted to show me something. I heard him put down his spoon and pushed away his plate. It was always like that, he finished eating before anyone else could.

That day, I discussed with energy and smiled throughout afternoon. There is an excitement inside me. It has been a while since I have talked to him. I made my way to the dungeons, half walking and running. When I reached his doors, I took deep breaths and composed myself. I knocked. He opened the door for me and I stepped inside. I gave him a blank expression, so did he. I followed him deeper inside and sat opposite to him. A book traveled in midair towards him and he held it on his hands. He was looking straight at me, as he extended his hand, giving me the book. I reluctantly get it from him, accidentally brushing my skin to his. I gulped.

" That belongs to you" He said in a low voice. My hand caressed the leather cover of the book, I flipped it open. It was not a book. It's a photo album. My eyes widened.

" How did you have it?" I asked.

" Just like how your parents left me to you" He replied vaguely. I flip the pages and saw that the pictures are moving, like the paintings here in the castle. I saw my parents, my brothers, and other people that I never know of. On the last page was a picture of a girl. She was wearing a floral dress. I forgot to breathe in two seconds. The little girl was me. And that was me on my dreams. I looked at Professor Snape. He was watching me intently. His eyes are cold and lifeless. He was like a statue, expressionless, unmoving. There was a lump on my throat. I knew I love this man. But something feels not right. And I need to figure it out.

" There is something you're not telling me." I declared. My voice was shaking. I do not know what I am talking about.

" There are things you do not know, yes." His tone was flat. I despise it. I would prefer if he show anger and annoyance to me, not like this. It's like he is not communicating to me.

" You said that my parents left me to you. How?"

" Why don't you tell me what you have in my mind?"

I gulped. And bit my lower lip.

" Are we betrothed?" I forced the sound out of my mouth. It's as if the world stopped spinning. His eyes widened. A choking expression on his face. I continued.

" You said that my parents left me to you. Did my parents asked you to marry me then? Am I betrothed to you?" In a fraction of second, he got out of his chair and lunged at me, he grabbed me by my robe and harshly throw me outside the cold dungeons. I fell on the ground. He closed the door loudly. I tried to catch my breath. My face flushed. I looked at the photo album in my hand.

0000

That night, I take another look at the photo album that Professor Snape gave me. And I blushed when I remember what I just said to him. It was really foolish. I should not said that. But I shrugged the foolish memory away and concentrated on the album. It was really weird. That he would give it to me, but it was more weird that he has it. I flipped the album to the last page where it showed a little girl smiling. The girl in my dream. It's me. And it's not just a dream. But a vague memory of mine that's visiting me. Maybe it's because I find myself mourning for the death of my family I never really knew. I put the album inside my drawer and prepared to sleep.


	8. Chapter 8: He loves me

**A/N: **I am having a hard time continuing this story. Even if I already know the ending of it… So…I will just try hard to finish it. To write bits in every chapter. I'm sorry.

And…um…Im having a problem. I want to write a story where I make my own characters…where can I?As if I can make two Original Characters on here? Is that possible? Please help! Thank you.

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I do not love Professor Snape. But rather, I am in love with him. I walk silently, calming my thumping heart with every step.. I stopped in front of his door, I raised my right hand, and tapped the hard wood. I took a deep breath, about to try again when I heard a loud crash of broken glasses on the floor. I pressed my ear on the door.

A loud sigh.

A scarp of chair against the floor.

" Lily…" A voice said.

" Lily." It said again. Louder.

" I have loved you all my life." The voice whimpered.

Why is he saying that? I do not know exactly what to feel. Because there is no exact feeling to feel. I am stunned and happy. I know there is happiness inside me because he love me. Even though it is illogical of him. But since when love become logical? And why did he said all his life? It doesn't make any sense.

" I knew you since you were a kid. And from there, I loved you already…" He trailed off. I presswed my ear harder on the wood. My heart wanting to jump out of my chest. Suddenly, an image came in to my mind. No, not just an image. But lots.I remember the man on my dream. I remember I was a kid and was desperately looking for something to hold on, and I grasped the man's wand and he asked me to remove my hands. I rem,ember seeing that same wand at the Great Hall in Professor Snape's table. Professor Snape gave me the Photo Album. I remember him saying my name was beautiful. Him saying that he knew my family well. That they trusted him. But this. This is unbearable. Though he love me. This is unbearable. But I find myself smiling. At the thought that he love me.

" Lily." He said again. Very soft this time. I caught my breath on my throat.

" I wish I could tell you…" He said. I smiled. I will help him in that.


End file.
